Kristen Stewart: The Twilight of Fashion

I admit it.  I may be the one person in the world who is not fanatically crazy about Twilight.  I think Edward Cullen is hot, but frankly I prefer Jasper because Jackson Rathbone is the prettiest boy I have ever seen.  I do not think vampires should be allowed to glow with golden pixie dust or be awake during the day.  I agree with Stephen King about Stephanie What’s-Her-Name’s writing.  And I am especially ambivalent towards Kristen Stewart, her (lack of) acting abilities (go watch the movie again and tell me if her mouth is not open for practically the entire film), and her (lack of) fashion sense.  And I hate that, because the new trend is to pair precious, stylish little dresses with Chuck Taylors and similar sneakers, which I think is adorable and right up my alley.

However, no pair of Chucks or reasonable facsimiles should ever be pair with a dress that looks like it wishes it was a Spiderman costume.  Tobey Maguire is the only one who can pull that off.  So quit acting like you’re so inspired by The Runaways, close your mouth, and go change your clothes right now.